How did I get here?!?!?!

I have been in a very reflective state of mind lately. Well, actually, since The Bug was born 17 months ago. Time flies.
JOB - i have a very strong aversion to my job. I work with conservative Christians. They are arrogant enough to assume that everyone is Christian and it is the only way. Not one person has ever asked me about my faith, they just assume. God is brought into my workplace daily. I am not 100% offended, I do believe in God. The difference is that I beleive that "mighty God is a living man" and we are responsible for how we treat eachother and the earth. Afterlife schmafterlife, I strive to make this life a paradise.
I digress. I have been at this job for 5 years and only liked it for about 8 months. I have been told that I am where they want me so I have no room for advancement. I have very little responsibility. Sounds great? Not really, I sit at the front desk day in and day out answering phones, filing stuff, and surfing the net. I am bored, I have told the higher ups and they keep telling me they will find more stuff for me. WHat do I get, anything anyone else does not want to do. I am the office grunt.
Why do I stay? Because I have become complacent. I am used to it all. I have good flexibility to leave if a kid is sick or take a half day if I am not feeling well. I can spend my day updating blogs, sending emails, researching feng shui, checking Perez Hilton, and getting my grocery lists together. SOunds great right? NO! I am better than this. I can do so much more. I am wasting my talents. I am not serving the world.
I have a dear friend in India who is giving me career counseling via IM. Of cousrse, while I am at work (when else would I have time?). Maybe he can help me make some headway.
HOME - Home is good. Anyone that knows me knows I dont divulge too much about my relatioship with my husband. We are good, could be better, marraige is hard work. Nuff said.
Whatever in my challenge in life. SHe doesn't listen, she is doing poorly in school, she drives me batty. I am so not the parent I want to be with her. She came with a lot of baggage and it has been a hard road for us. I don't blame her but man, she is a challenge! I want to be the parent that has all the kids over and has sleepovers and make s brownies and has food fights. She is a kid that if you give her an inch, she takes 5 miles. I have a friend that believes in "gentle parenting" and is constantly bringing that up withme. Makes me want to scream! I would LOVE to gentle parent but she only responds to absolutes and consequences. It is so hard!
The Bug is great! She makes me laugh REALLY hard every day. She makes all the bad stuff seem so trivial. I don't want to give the impression that I love her more than Whatever. I love her differently because I gave birth to her but she and Whatever are in two different places. It is so easy to love a baby, a tween is a bit harder. A full time step-tween? God give me strength!
A converstaion I had with The Saint last night:
me: "The Bug didn't get my dimples, what a shame"
him: "she got every bit of your whackiness, though"

There is hope!